5 Tips on How I Balance Being a Wife and a Mom

Wife.

Mom.

These are the titles I hold dear to my heart as of 2021. It’s surreal to think that I am somebody’s wife and somebody’s mother. I would have never imagined that this would be my life. I grew up always wanting kids, but not marriage. I never was into the shows like Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezilla, Married at first sight. I always thought that marriage was unrealistic and just wasn’t for me. I can remember saying to my parents that I never wanted to get married but that I wanted 8 kids just like Jon + Kate. Did I know that I needed a man for that to happen? Yes, but I preferred to have my eight kids through adoption.

Now a decade later, I am married and with child. All because I fell in love with my husband. Once I met my husband, I knew I wanted to get married. I was more myself with him around. I could spend hours with him, and never be bored. And I appreciated his consistency and willingness to change. I loved that he had dreams and ambitions of his own, and that he had a hustle to match. And I sure didn’t mind that he was a looker. I am proud to say that I find my husband more attractive now than I did when I first met him.

So from the moment we met, we were inseparable. So it wasn’t a surprise to my family or friends when he popped the question in 2019. As I look back on that moment, and look at where we are now. All I can do is thank GOD. We had some obstacles and trials to get through to get here and I am so happy we made it.

Five months into marriage, and a month into being parents. I thought it would be a perfect time to discuss the balancing act I call mother hood and wife hood. How am I able to balance being a mom with being a wife?

And here is how I do it.

Disclaimer: I am a newly wed and a new mom, so I’m not a pro or claiming to know what will work for your marriage and motherhood journey. I just wanted to provide insight into what could work or what you could try that has helped me. Also, I’m just talking about what works for me now. Things will change as we venture further into parenthood and marriage.

• Make 1:1 Time a Priority - I make an effort to spend 1:1 time with my spouse, as well as my kid. Since we haven’t gotten to the stage where we are dropping baby boy off at his grandparents yet, which will happen soon. Most of our 1:1 time have occurred while baby boy is sleep. Sometimes he is up, and will need to be held while we are having our time, but that’s what comes with being parents. We still make an effort to talk, laugh, and just enjoy eachother’s company. And with baby boy, since hubby is back at work. Me and baby boy spend lots of 1:1 time with one another, whether that’s taking a nap together, playing on his playmate, or reading books to him. I make sure to be present with him when he is up unless hubby has him.

• Self Care is Self-Love - Yes, we require alone time once in a while. So, whether that’s hubby’s gym time or library time, or my tv time or nail appointment. We each give each other space to just do us. And that allows us to recharge and focus in on each other and baby boy.

• Speak UP when Necessary - If I am struggling or overwhelmed with baby boy, I will ask hubby to take over and vice versa. I know as mothers we always want to do everything and be everything, but honestly that’s how we get burned out. So I am not afraid to ask for help and assistant when needed. It’s also good to speak up when issues arise, plans are being made, etc. Make sure nothing is slipping through the cracks.

• Preparation is Key - Plan ahead of time. Whether that’s date night, night shift, etc. Make sure you stay ahead of the game, and communicate. So, everyone is on the same page.

• Pray & Seek Guidance - Pray over your marriage, your children, your dreams, hopes, fears, etc. Sometimes all you need is GOD and a good 1:1 venting session. And if you need more, reach out to your loved ones or a therapist. GOD did not put those people and resources on earth for you not to use them.

As we go into February, the month of love, I pray over everyone’s marriages, children, and personal wellbeing. I pray that you don’t take the blessing you have been bestowed for granted. And I pray that you stop comparing yourself, your life, your spouse, your children to others and that you start seeing yourself the way GOD sees you. You are worthy of greatness, worthy of love, worthy of happiness, and worthy of all GOOD things. You better believe it.

I thank GOD for my little family and I am so happy for this platform that I built where I am able to share things like this with you. I am stepping into a new role and I am so excited for all the things this role will bring into my life.

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Let me know in the comments what are some key tips you have for new moms and wives on how to balance their roles.

And do you think that women can have it all?

Personally, I say why not.