The History of Black Love in America

Happy Valentines Day

I hope and pray that today is filled with love and joy for you.

Whether you’re single, dating, married, or divorced.

Spend this day how you want to & don’t get bogged down on the social media frenzy that happens on holidays like this one. You are loved, You are wanted, and You are God-sent.

Don’t you forget it.

Happy Valentines Day Baby

Now with all that being said, it’s time for us to get to the meat and potatoes of this post. In celebration of black history month and valentines day. I have been spending this month focused on all forms of black love, and since this week is valentine’s week. I’ll be tailoring this post to focus on dating/relationship love.

So, if you’re not in the mood to hear all the gushy stuff about love love on this love day. This might not be the post for you, but I am guessing since you clicked on it. You want to hear. So let’s get into it.

The History of Black Love in America

Society would love for you to believe that the black family structure was always in ruin, or there’s not enough of it to go around. I’m here to tell you that’s a lie. Black love has been around since the beginning of time, and has always been a staple of the black community. Yes, there were also dead beat daddies, and hectic/chaotic marriages/relationships in the olden days, but there were some good ones. Just like any other race, I might add.

Black love stood the test of time during slavery days, where slaves either had to hide and get married, or get permission from their slave owners to tie the knot. In those days, weddings were not the big events that they are today. All they had was a broom and maybe a couple of guests, and that was it. Did it stop them from cherishing the moment? No. It made their love stronger and built to last. With slaves often being separated from their spouses, it took dedication and loyalty for a love like that to last. Even in movies like 12 years a Slave, we see how easy it was for black families to be pulled apart.

From slave days all the way to Jim Crow days and segregation, black love has always been tested, with white supremacy and the lack of jobs for people of color. It took faith and persistence for black families to stay together with black males usually being the breadwinners of their families, and women staying home to take care of the kids. It was easy for couples to drift apart due to the hardships of their time as well as their respective roles and duties in the house, but yet in those times we saw how strong black love was.

Was it perfect? No. But was it theirs? Yes.

Do Not Own Rights To This Picture

In this generation, we are often quick to give up and move on, always thinking there is better out there, until we actually get out there, and realize we had it better than before. No, I’m not talking about abusive relationships. I’m talking about the relationships that have the ability to last through sickness and health, financial pitfalls, and more. If a relationship was easy, wouldn’t we all be in one? Wouldn’t all our parents been able to sustain a relationship?

So, before you go around thinking there is no good men out there or black love doesn’t exist. Look back. If they were able to get through slavery, Jim Crow, segregation, civil rights, and more. And still find love, and sustain it. What makes you think that you can’t. All I can say is pick wisely. Listen to your gut. And consult with the MAN upstairs because HE knows ALL things.

Leave a comment below letting me know who your favorite couple throughout history is (present or past) and why?

I honestly am in awe of present-day couples like Angela Basset and Courtney B Vance, Samuel L Jackson and Latanya Richardson, and Denzel Washington and Pauletta Washington because they were able to find each other in an industry that doesn’t support the sustainability of marriage. How many Hollywood couples do you know that have successful marriages? I can answer that, not many. The ones who do are the ones that stay out of the spotlight.

Also, another couple I love is Malcolm X and his wife, Betty Shabazz. I love seeing how dedicated he was to his wife and his mission. And that’s what I feel like LOVE should be for everyone. You should be in love with someone who will dedicate his life to you just like he would dedicate his life to his purpose/passion.