4 Real AF Ways I'm Rewiring My Mindset as a 20-Something Mama
So boom—last week, I caught y’all up on all the wild, exciting (and lowkey stressful) things that been happening in my life. From the highs to the lows, I laid it all out. I talked about how heavy motherhood really is and how, if I could do it all over, I might’ve made different choices to NOT be in the situation I’m in. But hey, you can’t spin the block on the past. And let’s be real—if you had a redo, would you even choose differently? Especially if you ain’t know what you know now?
I be telling my friends, my family, and anybody who will listen about the stuff I wish I did right—switching career paths earlier, paying off debt, and not getting married so young before truly knowing myself. And listen, marriage is cool, but it’s A LOT. I just wish somebody had told me the real instead of hitting me with the same tired lines: "You gon’ miss being a kid" or "Don’t rush to be grown." Like, okay but WHY? What exactly was I supposed to be holding onto? Now that I’m here, grown and a whole mama, I get it.
But what I’m not finna do is sit here drowning in regret over what I shoulda, coulda, woulda done. Instead, I’m grabbing this laptop, pouring my thoughts into my little diary (aka this post), and focusing on rewiring my mindset so I can create a life I don’t feel like I need to escape from.
Step 1: Get Real About What’s Messing You Up
First things first—what’s really going on in your head? What are your inner thoughts? Positive? Negative? Do you have regrets? Are they holding you down? Do you catch yourself lowkey jealous of folks who seem to have it all together?
Trust me, I feel you. I never thought I was the jealous type, but lately, whew. Seeing people who look like they got it all figured out, living their best “soft life,” while I’m over here wrangling three little boys? It’s frustrating. It’s depressing. It’s a whole emotional rollercoaster. But instead of sitting in that, I gotta ask myself—what don’t I like about my life? What do I like? Sit with that. Really think on it.
Step 2: Make Some Damn Changes
Once you understand where your head is at, it’s time to move different. What can you switch up? Is it your job? Your routine? Do you need to make more time for yourself? It’s all possible.
Look at your daily habits and ask yourself—where can I move smarter? Make a list, start checking things off, and quit making excuses.
Step 3: CUT THE CRAP
Stop talking to yourself like you ain’t worthy. Quit feeling sorry for yourself when things don’t go your way. Instead of asking “Why me?” start asking “Why NOT me?”
Everything—good, bad, ugly—is shaping you into the person God has called you to be. So why focus so hard on the struggle when you could be learning from it instead? Every L is a lesson. Every obstacle is an opportunity to grow. Shift your mindset and start seeing it that way.
Step 4: LET GO & TAP IN
Meditate. Pray. Journal. Listen to gospel. Go to church. Let. That. Shit. Go.
Trying to control everything is a losing battle. If you believe in God, then you already know you NEED Him. And if you don’t? Work on that relationship, because thinking you got it all figured out by yourself will have you in for a rude awakening. Walking with God ain’t always easy, but it’s worth it. The faith, the strength, the clarity you gain? Unmatched.
These are the ways I’m shifting my mindset, rewriting my story, and stepping into a version of me that I can be proud of. What about you?
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