How I Processed My Friendship Breakup with 2 Long-Term Friends
Devasted.
That’s the word for this post.
Honestly, I’ve always been the person to value friendships over everything. Once I call you a friend it’s hard for me to let go. And that can sometimes be a downfall of mine. Only because i’m always open to reconciliation. Which can sometimes end up being the WORST decision if it ends up not working out again in the end. This leads me to mourning a relationship that SHOULD’VE been done awhile ago.
So, recently I decided to no longer be friends with 2 of my long term friends ( i.e they were high school friends). This decision was very much forced upon me, as my preference would’ve been to work it out and talk it out, but things escalated and the decision was made to part ways. This decision was so hard for me, I literally spent a couple of days crying and mourning the friendships because I used to talk to these two girls on a daily basis, so going from talking every day to no more, really hurt me. I was so lost. I literally was thinking of all the ways I could’ve handled it and avoided the breakup overall, which really led me down a dark path.
The breakup made me question myself as a friend and if I was the bad friend? Was I the cause of our downfall? And honestly speaking, there were DEFINITELY things I could’ve handled better, but overall it takes two to tango.
Anyway, I thought it would be good to let you know how i’ve been processing the end of the friendships and three tips that could help you process a recent friendship breakup as well.
Let’s get started
THREE TIPS TO HELP YOU PROCESS A FRIENDSHIP BREAKUP
Figure out WHY the Breakup was Necessary or Why it Happened? - Why are you no longer friends with this person? Make a list of reasons and keep that list. If you don’t have any valid reasons besides superficial bs, then maybe there is room for reconciliation down the line, but if the friendship was toxic and always ended up causing you more pain than happiness, it’s time to cut the cord PERMANENTLY. No matter how much it hurts, you have to realize that you will connect with other people and that this person or people are not your end all be all.
Figure out Your Role - What did you do? How were you as a friend? What could you have done?These are crucial questions to ask yourself. It’s easy to point the finger, but when you take a moment to dig deep and figure out your role in the situation you will realize how you could have escalated the situation as well. So take some time to evaluate, and make notes for the future, so you don’t make the same mistakes in your future friendships.
Let it Go - It’s easy to get stuck, but growth doesn’t happen by staying still, it happens by moving forward. So, breathe, forgive and move on. Life is too short for having grudges. Learn to accept things for what they are. Don’t dwell on the past. Things happened the were supposed to, even if you did switch it up. If a person wants to walk out of your life they will regardless of how GOOD you treated them.
Friendship breakups are hard but if I learned anything from my recent friendship breakup is. It’s that things happen for a reason and if GOD wants you to be friends again it will happen. And if it he DOESN’T he will open new doors for you to get out there and meet friends worthy of your time.
So, don’t dwell on the past. Open yourself up to new friends, because the saying “ no new friends” is actually inaccurate, sometimes you need new friends to show you how healthy and thriving friendships can actually be.
Let me know in the comments how you were able to process a friendship breakup or any advice of your own.
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