What I've Learned about Motherhood as a First Time Mom
it’s unbelievable to think that I have been a mom for the past year and a half. I have learned so much about motherhood and in turn myself on how to be the best version of me for my kid. I might not be the perfect mother but I am the best mother for my kid. I’ve learned that it’s not what you have but what you do with what you have. How do you utilize your strengths? How do you work on your weaknesses? how do you put your kid first? and lastly, how do you prioritize yourself?
These are all crucial questions, we as parents, need to ask ourselves on a consistent basis. Parenthood is hard, draining, and exhausting, but it’s the best hood if you’re willing to do the work.
Here are a couple of things I’ve learned about motherhood as a first time mom
It will be hard, but it’s up to you on how hard it can be - You’re the determining factor of your own motherhood experience. We can’t control everything when it comes to parenthood, and due to that, it can often seem like a wild circus. But if you take the necessary time to focus on the things we can control, and change what doesn’t fit or add to you/your child’s happiness. You will be just fine. Remember, with each stage comes it’s own share of ups and downs, but when we focus on the ups, we are more likely to get through the downs a little easier.
find your community - stop asking people to come and visit your child. Focus on the ones that are already making time for your kid and are showing up. Personally, i never talk about my child unless my child is brought up because why would I volunteer information about my kid, when you obviously don’t want to know. If you did, you would ask. I think we often feel left out as first-time moms, especially when we are the first one in our circle to get pregnant. But the best advice I can give you is to create a mom circle. Start making an effort to make friends who are moms themselves. I joined the Peanut app and met a couple of friends off there. One mom I met has become one of my close friends already in the short amount of time I’ve known her. It’s always nice to meet a fellow mom, because then you don’t feel like you're boring them with all your mom talks.
prioritize yourself - Have a couple of kid-free weekends/days to yourself to prioritize your needs. Even if you can’t have a whole day or weekend, try a couple hours for yourself to watch tv or get your nails done. It’s necessary for your mental health to have alone time. And even the best moms get burnt out from spending every waking moment with their kids. It’s okay to want a break. It’s also okay if you don’t want the break either. As long as you're prioritizing your needs, motherhood won’t seem like such a burden or loss of self. Make that time because you can’t give your all to the kiddos without pouring into yourself first. Your kids deserve a happy and fulfilled mother.
Motherhood has been the most mind-blowing experience I have ever had. From carrying a baby in my stomach for nine months, to childbirth, to taking care of baby boy. It’s been wild to see the things I’ve been capable of doing in the past year and a half. I just couldn’t imagine me being able to do that beforehand, and to know now how I am as mother with all the things that have been thrown at me during the first year of motherhood. I am so darn proud of myself and appreciative of all the mothers out there. Motherhood is hard and its not for the weak. But if you are willing to do the work and craft your motherhood experience to fit your wants/needs, there’s nothing you can’t do.
What has motherhood taught you? Let me know in the comments.
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Tasha Battle (@tashathompsontv) • Instagram photos and videos